I've been learning so much about faith recently. It's not a new concept to me, but I think I've only come to understand more of what it means in the last month or so. And let me tell you what, it's HARD. When I used to think of the word 'faith' i would picture it on a garden stone with flowers & butterflies, so sweet and innocent...something like the picture.
But when I think about it now I envision something like the Criminal Minds episode where a bomb is strapped to a guy and he's just sitting there, sweating profusely, waiting as the seconds tick by, and Gideon has to choose at the last second whether to cut the blue or red cord. I only see that now because I've had a few...& continue to have...moments when I feel like the guy in the chair, nervous as all get out, most likely crying (cause i'm a girl & i'm emotional), afraid that my world is gonna blow up right in my face. But faith is having the confidence that God has a plan all along, whether the bomb goes off or not. And He doesn't even have to guess what to do next. He had it planned long before I even feel the bomb strapped onto me.
*Faith is not just sitting, frozen in the chair, waiting though. It's helping the bomb squad figure out the right combination and asking for someone to call your boss and tell him you'll be a little late to work. God doesn't work on behalf of quitters, He works alongside those who won't quit...showing up in His own perfect timing.
I heard a couple weeks ago that faith is putting God in every fill-in-the-blank. In the margins of where I was taking notes I realized how true that was. This is what i wrote:
in a year from now, my...
home:____________________
lover:______________________
job:________________________
desires:______________________
I can't fill in any of the blanks. As a matter of fact, my top 3 choices would probably all end up being wrong. But He is all of those. I've heard home is where the heart is, so whenever I'm close with Him my heart will feel at home. He is my faithful lover, the only person who'll perfectly love me for my whole life. Whatever job I have, I'll do it for Him. And my heart will always desire more of Him. He knows all the other minor details. So in the mean time, I'm satisfied with just putting Him in all my blanks, having confidence that He'll come through whenever He wants. After all, I would hate for my life to be like the garden stone. I'd much rather my life resemble the adrenaline-releasing, potential explosiveness of bombs.
