lost in this moment with You

I've had a summer filled with moments. Not just any moments though. Let's be honest, I left mundane moments in the dust awhile ago (praise Jesus!). The moments that make up my summer are ones that fill my soul with inexpressible joy. They are moments that make me laugh until my stomach aches. Moments that go deep into my being and leave me changed for good. There's just one problem...I can't pinpoint any of these moments.


Like the moment I realized that moving to Maui could be a reality. Or the moment when my heart became so entangled with each person on our summer team. I wish I could remember the moments I came to know Jesus in deeper ways or the moment when I fell so deeply in love with Him. That moment when I realized that one of my best friends at camp was Lottie, an 8th grade girl who most people don't understand. Or the moment that the high school guys on my team became my strong pillars. I so wish I could take you to the place I became fearless and decided I would jump off every cliff I could in Maui. But I can't. I can't remember when or where all of the previous things happened. I can tell you stories about the effects of those moments and recount lots of memories. But the very time & place that these things happened in my heart is so blurry.


As I was thinking about this today I realized that the fact that I can't pinpoint these moments is actually a good thing. Otherwise I would spend the rest of my life trying to recreate them. If I knew that the moment I realized I could move to Maui was on a beach at Paia Bay with campers or at Anthony's drinking coffee then I'd idolize those places. If I knew that the CYMOH team became so dear to me when we prayed together and interlocked fingers I would lay in bed at night and so badly wish that I could be back in that moment. If I knew that Isaac, Cole, & Colby became some of my favorite guys when we were having a conversation about relationships over chicken patties at lunch I would spend countless hours wanting to drive back to West Virginia and take those boys to lunch. 


So because I can't remember the exact moments, I am forced to the one thing I am certain of in each moment. JESUS. I may not remember when I fell in love with Maui but I am certain that He is the one who fueled that passion inside of me. I may not know exactly when Lottie and I became best friends but I am confident that He planned our first conversation on the porch of Cabin 1. Realizing all of this makes me think back to the Tower of Babel. The story is told in the beginning of chapter 11 of Genesis and explains that the people of the earth decided to build a tower to the sky. God knew that it would just make them prideful and how it'd be a shame for humans to steal God's glory. So He saved them from further embarrassment and decided to disperse them throughout the world and give them all different languages (personally, I think that was a pretty cool idea). In the same way, I think if I could remember all these moments I'd take the credit from God. So He's just saving me from myself. And in return, giving me Himself. I'll take that switch any day. Cause I'm realizing that the moments that make up my adventurous life are ones He planned before I was born. & He's given them to me not for me, but for His glory.

So instead of writing post after post about specific things this summer, I guess I'm summing it all up into this one entry. I am telling you that Jesus has taken hold of my life. He is using moment after moment with countless people all over the world to show me more of Himself. & I will be one satisfied girl if I get to the end of my life and all I have left are moments filled with Jesus. 

Flipped upside down

"I know it sounds goofy, but I want to be like that Jeep. I want to leak from having been hit by Jesus. From having something crazy happen to me, something that flipped my life upside down. I've met people like that, people who leak Jesus. Whenever you're around them, Jesus keeps coming up with words and with actions. I don't suppose everybody gets hit by Jesus, but those of us who have talk about Him differently. We start steering funny; we start leaking where we stand. And it's because we got thrown from our lives in a terrific collision."

This is an excerpt from the book I just finished reading, Love Does (the book I mentioned in an earlier post about changing my life). I finally finished it yesterday while watching people get slammed by waves at Makenna Beach on Maui. I like this chapter because it talks about what it's like to know Jesus. Many people think they can call themselves Christians and pretend to know Jesus while they live the same lives as people who don't know Him. But like this chapter in the book explains, He flips our lives UPSIDE DOWN. It's radical. It's crazy. It means we do the opposite of what we think we should do (like love those who are mean to us and give not money or clothes but our very lives). 

I want to live an upside down life like Jesus did. I want to cause controversy and do things that other people think are reckless and crazy. Which is why I hopped on a plane last week and flew to Maui to surprise some of my favorite people. It didn't make a lot of sense for me to come...I got a job I was loving and spending time with some good friends. Coming here was a lot of money and time that I wasn't sure I had to give. But following Jesus involves getting up and going. While Jesus was ministering, He was always on the move...talking, loving, healing, preaching. And I felt it was time to get up and go, go back to a place I left my heart last summer. So even though it doesn't make sense to a lot of people or even to me sometimes, I know that I am here for such a time as this. And even though it isn't all cheese and rice...I know I am supposed to be here. 

So pray with me? Pray for this island. Pray for the children we have at our camps. Pray we give ourselves up like Jesus did for us. I'm hoping in these next few days I will be so tired and exhausted at night because I gave everything I have. I want Jesus to be famous. I want to show these youth that only in the presence of Jesus will they be made whole. And if they'll let Him, He'll come in and flip their lives upside down so they leak Him wherever they go.

I have a video of surprising the team...I've been trying for dayyyyys to upload it but the internet must not be good enough. So I cannot wait to get home and show you all! I'll be able to explain more about the surprise and my time here later, now we're just so busy. But feel free to call me or text me or message me on facebook if you have any questions or comments. Our team always loves encouragement from the mainland:)