lost in this moment with You

I've had a summer filled with moments. Not just any moments though. Let's be honest, I left mundane moments in the dust awhile ago (praise Jesus!). The moments that make up my summer are ones that fill my soul with inexpressible joy. They are moments that make me laugh until my stomach aches. Moments that go deep into my being and leave me changed for good. There's just one problem...I can't pinpoint any of these moments.


Like the moment I realized that moving to Maui could be a reality. Or the moment when my heart became so entangled with each person on our summer team. I wish I could remember the moments I came to know Jesus in deeper ways or the moment when I fell so deeply in love with Him. That moment when I realized that one of my best friends at camp was Lottie, an 8th grade girl who most people don't understand. Or the moment that the high school guys on my team became my strong pillars. I so wish I could take you to the place I became fearless and decided I would jump off every cliff I could in Maui. But I can't. I can't remember when or where all of the previous things happened. I can tell you stories about the effects of those moments and recount lots of memories. But the very time & place that these things happened in my heart is so blurry.


As I was thinking about this today I realized that the fact that I can't pinpoint these moments is actually a good thing. Otherwise I would spend the rest of my life trying to recreate them. If I knew that the moment I realized I could move to Maui was on a beach at Paia Bay with campers or at Anthony's drinking coffee then I'd idolize those places. If I knew that the CYMOH team became so dear to me when we prayed together and interlocked fingers I would lay in bed at night and so badly wish that I could be back in that moment. If I knew that Isaac, Cole, & Colby became some of my favorite guys when we were having a conversation about relationships over chicken patties at lunch I would spend countless hours wanting to drive back to West Virginia and take those boys to lunch. 


So because I can't remember the exact moments, I am forced to the one thing I am certain of in each moment. JESUS. I may not remember when I fell in love with Maui but I am certain that He is the one who fueled that passion inside of me. I may not know exactly when Lottie and I became best friends but I am confident that He planned our first conversation on the porch of Cabin 1. Realizing all of this makes me think back to the Tower of Babel. The story is told in the beginning of chapter 11 of Genesis and explains that the people of the earth decided to build a tower to the sky. God knew that it would just make them prideful and how it'd be a shame for humans to steal God's glory. So He saved them from further embarrassment and decided to disperse them throughout the world and give them all different languages (personally, I think that was a pretty cool idea). In the same way, I think if I could remember all these moments I'd take the credit from God. So He's just saving me from myself. And in return, giving me Himself. I'll take that switch any day. Cause I'm realizing that the moments that make up my adventurous life are ones He planned before I was born. & He's given them to me not for me, but for His glory.

So instead of writing post after post about specific things this summer, I guess I'm summing it all up into this one entry. I am telling you that Jesus has taken hold of my life. He is using moment after moment with countless people all over the world to show me more of Himself. & I will be one satisfied girl if I get to the end of my life and all I have left are moments filled with Jesus.