Maui on my mind

I've been thinking a lot lately about the whole reason I started this blog. And it's because of an island thousands of miles away. I started this to share my journey with you. And it's changed my life.

My heart has been stuck on that small island and the people who live there. So I thought I'd take some time to remind you (and me) about my trip and all that God taught me then and continues to teach me...

But how can people call for help if they don't know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven't heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That's why Scripture exclaims, 

   A sight to take your breath away! 
   Grand processions of people 
      telling all the good things of God!

Romans 10:14&15

there IS such a thing as a moonbow!!

But we must always remember that there is no such thing as moonlight. It's just the Sun reflecting off the Moon. Louie Giglio explains this in his amazing book "Indescribable:"

"Just as the Sun shines at night when the Moon is in the right place, God shines in the darkness when we are in the right place. When we are in full view of Jesus, His love, grace, goodness, and power directly impact us. In that place, in the brightness of His presence, His light will reflect off us so others can see, no matter how dark the night. It's amazing to think that, simply by our proximity to Jesus, we can bring hope and life to people and places trapped in discouragement and despair."

God's still in the business of changing lives. 

Our team didn't come together until we shared our testimonies. Not til we disclosed our weaknesses did we really bond. And how hard it is to be vulnerable. But here is Maggie, sharing her testimony (in front of a lot of people!). Not because she is good or perfect, but because He changed her. 

And in Revelation 12 John is explaining what he saw and it is exclaimed in verse 11 that the Devil is overcome . He is overcome because the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony. Everyone has a story to tell and if He has changed you, there is power in your story. Don't ever stop telling it!

His plan is perfect. 

We were brought together for such a time as this.

7 people. 

We don't always understand why or how. 

But His plan is greater & bigger than we could ever imagine.

So don't take the people in your life for granted.

Learn from them & love them.

We're not supposed to do life alone.

And the most important thing is...we are not finished. This is just the beginning. And maybe, just maybe, revival is closer than we think.

Love unspoken isn't love at all

I've been learning a lot about love lately. I must admit, it's odd to keep thinking about love when it's Thanksgiving/Christmas time. I mean isn't this supposed to be a time of thankfulness and remembering that Jesus was born in a manger? But with each instance, experience, and story I'm overwhelmed with love. Today at Blue Ridge our pastor talked about love and how in Revelation 2 the church at Ephesus was confronted about abandoning their first love. And as I sat there at the end of the service writing my love note to God on my little card I was truly reminded about how much I love Him. I had the urge to write 'I love God' everywhere! But daggone it, there's not a more cliché statement in the Christian repertoire of sayings. I think it's because love is kinda sad in our society...it doesn't work and it's weak. Writing 'I love [insert Drake, sappy Christmas movie, or favorite food]' is lame, let's be honest. But love, real love, is powerful. It is deep and moving. It causes us to do crazy things. It begs us to recklessly abandon ourselves. It shatters comfort zones. It is wild and explosive. It is all-consuming and uncontrollable and relentless. And I love Him. I want all of those things to describe my relationship with the One I love. And I want everyone to know I'm crazy about Him. Because believe me, if I was in love with a guy...I'd tell the world. It'd be a big deal.

So here's to saying 'I love You' every night before I fall asleep. Here's to thinking about Him all the time and talking about Him whenever I get the chance (thank you, Tim Tebow, for talking about this on national television. Missed it? ...click here to watch!). Here's to writing Him love notes when I'm bored in class and talking to Him when I'm in between classes and taking study breaks just to spend time with Him. He is the One I love, the One I'm crazy about. Call me weird, but I just simply cannot help but talk about it. 
Because love unspoken just isn't really love at all now is it?

i ain't tryna get in Yo way

Therefore, if God gave them the same gift that He gave to us 

when we believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, 

how could I possibly hinder God? 

When they heard this they became silent. 

Then they glorified God saying, 

"So God has granted repentance resulting in life to even the Gentiles!" 

Acts 11:17&18

I read this as I was having "fresh bread" for breakfast with Jesus this morning. I've been praying for a renewed passion for His Word after going through a series about the importance of the Bible at church. I've always had a Bible and have worn out at least one. I know that it's important but I just haven't been digging into it like I should. So I decided to start reading it in a way as to just learn more about Him. Not to memorize it for when I get in a bad situation or to be able to answer the Sunday School questions from friends. So as always, He is faithful and shows up on day ONE. I'm reading through Acts (one of my favorite books) and I just read about Saul's conversion which is one of the most exciting passages for me. If only our eyes would be open to God doing that now. Anyways, the passage above is about Peter going to Cornelius and declaring that salvation is for the Gentiles...what a HUGE thing! But v. 1 starts out by saying the other Christians in the region were confused. They couldn't believe that Peter would go to even eat with those people because that wasn't allowed. So Peter is having to explain to them why he went to them and he ends with the verses above. The part that hit me hard was him saying, "...how could I possibly hinder God?" As a Gentile, I'm glad Peter didn't try to hinder God (I'm confident that God's plan for the Gentiles to receive salvation would have still happened but we have no clue how that would have played out). There are times when I feel like I try to hinder God. I try to get in His way because I'm afraid to trust Him. Sometimes I think I won't like the outcome. Or maybe some of the people around me will get hurt. But I want to be more like Peter. I want to get to the point where I say, "how could I possibly hinder God?" Because He is teaching me that His timing is perfect. He cherishes and completes me. And simply because of His nature I am compelled to say how could I NOT let Him do His thing?? And maybe the results of that will be far greater than I could ever imagine.

Dear Jill,

Why are you living for there when you know about here?

                                                                        -God

hello September

NOTE: I love my planner.

As this month so quickly arrived I have realized something about September: this month can make ya or break ya. It means summer is finally over. For some of us that meant we had to say goodbye to friends or family. Maybe your summer was the best yet. For some people it was full of nights you can't remember and moments you wish you could forget. But either way, it was a specific season in each of our lives and things are changing. Now, during this month, is when you'll decide to change along with the season or stay the way you've always been. For me, summer taught me a lot of things this year. I saw God in ways I never thought I would and I acquired a passion for an island 5,000 miles away. I realized how precious true friends are! I saw some people my age lay down their pride and accept His gift of salvation...leading me to truly know what it means to say, "I'll become even more undignified than this, some may say it's foolishness. I'll become even more undignified than this, leave my pride by my side," while dancing like Sandra Bullock in 'The Proposal' (ok, not JUST like that. but you get the idea). This was definitely a summer I'll never forget. [if you wanna know more about it all just browse through some older posts...you won't be disappointed!]
But all of that can be reduced to nothing if during this month I choose not to apply it or remember it. I've already gotten so caught up in going to work and school every day that those things that became so important and precious to me this summer have been forgotten. September is wonderful, and I am thankful it is here. But it offers me the option to settle. It makes the mundane look appealing. It threatens to make every victorious and life changing moment of the summer fade. It tempts me to give up on love and running...two things I need the most. So I am fighting every morning to keep September from taking all of those things from me. I am determined to fuel my passions and to not stop seeking until I find. I will take moments of each day to remember the moments when He came through and I saw Him so clearly. When all I wanna do is the easy thing, I will choose to do the hard thing. And no matter what, no matter how tired or frustrated or weak I get, I will not let September steal my summer.

Robert

YOU'RE ENGAGED!

While we haven't always agreed with or understood each other, I can't deny the difference you've made in other people's lives. Just last week I was in a class with someone I didn't know and he looked at me and asked if you were my brother. When I said yes he proceeded to tell me what a great guy you are. I don't even think you know him but he saw you play basketball and just in the way you played and your attitude he gained respect for you. [And I'm just adding that to the 47328439 times that someone has known we were siblings because we look so much alike. I'm sure it won't be the last time.] So even though you're not at Liberty anymore people haven't forgotten you or the example you were to them. I'm grateful for that, even though I don't tell you. I don't mind when others associate me with you because they always have good things to say about you. It's a blessing to have a brother who loves the Gospel more than girls and can ball a thousand times better than he can play video games. So here's to you...

 to all the photos we've posed for

 to all the games we've played together

 to all the times you put up with my mischievous self

 to the times we got along

 to the times when we worked together just to get through

 to the times we tried to be cool

and to the times I'll never forget.

I love you and I'm excited for the life you have in front of you. Never stop pursuing Him and presenting the Gospel. HE is worth everything.

you can be the change

In starting a brand new semester of classes this week, I've realized all over again how much I love my major. Most people are jealous because they think we play sports all day, some people have no clue what the word 'Kinesiology' even means, and almost everyone thinks it's a joke. The first couple semesters that might have bothered me, not really sure as to whether this is what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. But now, with only two semesters of classes left and one semester of student teaching, I can't imagine doing anything else. My professors are amazing. Each of their stories is so different and it's easy to see God in the ways each of them were brought to Liberty University. They're funny and they're just so fun. And I love my classes too: Exercise Physiology, Innovative Games, Administration of Physical Education and Sports Programs, etc. I love what we're learning and the homework is enjoyable for me. While I love both of those things: my professors and my classes, it just wouldn't be the same without the other people in those classes. A lot of us have almost every class together and I never get tired of them. I feel so blessed to have people to lean on whether it's about getting back in dress code after we're hot and sweaty in the morning after an activity class or what classes we need to take next semester. They are so encouraging and I honestly never go a day without laughing. 


I realized something this week that I'd never really thought about. One of my professors said that most of us (in the Health and PE major) are servants by nature. We care more about others than we do ourselves. I'm not saying that other people who have different majors aren't like that, but we choose to sacrifice our lives to save others'. It is so important to us that kids grow up healthy and strong that we are willing to make very little money and deal with a lot of criticism just to make that happen. My mom has told me more than once that there aren't PE teacher jobs out there, but does that mean that I should give up? Schools still continue to cut out physical education despite the rising obesity rates among children, but does that mean we should let our passions die? When there is no physical education in school and no jobs for PE teachers, there will still be overweight children and parents who need to be educated about how to raise healthy kids. 


So what can you do? Be an example! Live an active, healthy lifestyle. Don't push kids just to play traditional sports, they'll eventually stop playing. Teach them how to fish or how to ride a bicycle. Show them that turkey can taste better than chicken nuggets and that salad is yummmy! It's the every day decisions we make that eventually turn into a lifestyle. If you're a parent, make your kid go outside! Don't buy them more video games or unlimited texting, buy them a kickball or a skateboard. Life is so fun and it's not meant to be spent inside by ourselves. 


Write your school board and make sure they know how important physical education is in the schools. And be that example for kids to look to and say, "I wanna be like that!"

This one's for the girls

As I go into my senior year of college, I am tempted by the people and environment around me to feel as though I need to find a man before I graduate. Here at Liberty, "ring before spring" is a common mantra and as freshmen arrive this week they are to be given Clayton and Charie King's new book "Twelve Questions to Ask Before You Marry." While I'm sure it is a great book and very helpful for those considering marriage, I believe it is a little ridiculous to hand one to each 18 year old along with their dorm room key. 

I understand the urgency many people have to find the right guy while here at Liberty. Where else in the world will you get to be around thousands of Christian guys your age day in and day out??  It's like people who don't go here think it's this magical place of men who love Jesus and always hold the door open for you. While there are Christian guys here, and most do hold the door open, they are not much different than guys at other schools. Guys are guys wherever you are. And I know I'm being general, but we have to be real here. But trust me, I've met some great guys here. Selfless, funny, athletic, caring, Bible-knowing guys. I just haven't found the one for me. 

So in the mean time, I'm reading this great book called "Sex and the Soul of a Women" by Paula Rinehart. It's one of the best books I've ever read. I'm reading it for the third time now and I'm still amazed by the words on the pages. It's the most insightful book about relationships and how they affect women. It's for married women and single girls. I'd recommend it for every female between the ages of 15 and 95. Really. Especially if you've never had anyone to talk to about sex and relationships. Sex was always one of those things that wasn't good to talk about. It's uncomfortable and it's bad, that's what I grew up thinking. But somewhere along the way, thank the Lord, I learned that it is holy and special because our Creator, the One who knows our deepest desires and wants, created it. 

One of the reasons I'm majoring in Kinesiology is so I can be in a high school environment. I've had experiences and heard countless stories of the choices people make during those precious four years. I have a desire to plunge into the lives of teenagers and teach them about their bodies and how to stay healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, academically, and socially). I believe that things people begin to do in high school quickly turn into habits created for the rest of their lives. Whether good or bad, what we do in high school tends to define us for years afterward. This book I'm reading alludes to that by explaining that most of our perceptions about sex and relationships begin at this stage, before most of us even know who we are and what we want: "Many of us give away something precious before we know what we have. No one in our lives alerts us to our vulnerability; no one values our sexuality enough to struggle for its protection. Or perhaps we do not allow ourselves to hear one who wants to help."

This book is also about the strength and respect women deserve, simply because those things are God-given rights. My favorite section of the book goes like this:

     "One of the most confounding movements these days is our culture's push to convince women to deny their femaleness. A woman isn't supposed to feel anything. Not fear that her current relationship may not last. Not grief when it's over. Not a bit of tacky resentment when another woman comes into the picture. To feel something- to be hurt, betrayed, devastated- would be to admit that she had hopes and expectations at the outset. She should be able to walk away and expect nothing. The proof of our equality with men has become our ability to flat-line a broken heart."

     "There is something tragic about women not being allowed to express the loss and betrayal they feel when a relationship is over. Wendy Shalit turns her guns on this insistence that a woman not feel anything about broken sexual relationships. 'All those bad feelings we are too enlightened to feel nowadays- such as resentment , jealousy, betrayal- also signify the capacity to lose yourself in the first place, to fall in love with someone other than yourself. They presuppose that there is a soul to protect, that there are hopes to be shattered, a lost love to guard, even if now only mentally and futilely. No hard feelings? I'm advocating a return to precisely that: hard feelings. At least then you know you're a person, that you have a heart.'"

Relationships is a hot topic amongst my single friends and many people have told us that our expectations are too high. We haven't found the right guys for us because they don't exist. And I admit that some days I've gone to bed believing that. But this book assures me that these guys do exist, if only we are strong enough to expect the best from them. So here's to you: to the girl who's given it all away, to the girl who's never known what it's like to be loved, to the woman who's scared to open up; here's to the hopeless and the used. Here's to the college student who thinks she has to give herself up to be accepted and here's to the girlfriend who's overlooked. Here's to the woman who has fought to protect her innocence and to the girl who's spent years waiting for the right one. If I've learned one thing from this book it's this:

"You are meant to be loved and valued and cherished for the rest of your life by a man whose face lights up when he sees you."

leaving Hinton

Once again, I have come to a time in which I have to say goodbye. Leaving never gets easier, I can tell you that. Usually when you have to do something so much you get better at it and handle it better, but not when it comes to leaving people and places you have grown to love. 


For the first time in a long time I spent an entire month in the great state of West Virginia. This place is beautiful and I claim it as my home. As we've established this week, I'm a Hintonite (thank you Nationwide billboard). Coming to visit this place is one of my favorite things to do but I can't stay here very long. I just wasn't made for small town life. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just not for me. There are people here who are pros at it, I can't imagine them living anywhere else. And I love that about them. It wears on me though. Although it's nice when it takes 10 minutes to get anywhere you have to go, those same roads get extremely worn out. And there are so many people here who say they want to get out and they can't stand living in a small town, but the funny thing is they always come back to stay. Not me. 


I've learned so much about myself being here for so long. And boy have I learned a lot about other people. In a small town you really do know everyone's business and I honestly know way more about others now than I care to know. It's crazy how fake people can be. I don't know many people my age or in high school around here but I see them occasionally and as soon as I say something about how I think they are I'll find out about the drugs, alcohol, and sex they're involved in. While it may make me mad, break my heart, or do both...I realize that no matter how cliche it sounds, God loves them despite of it all. He loves the girl who gave it all away to someone who could care less about her. He loves the single mom who stays drunk so she doesn't have to deal with her problems. He truly loves the drug dealers here and the guys who take advantage of girls. He loves the people who party and the people who want nothing to do with Him. He loves them just as much as He loves me. Not that I'm perfect, but I have come to the point of realizing that I am wicked and I need Him desperately. But how do I show them? How do I tell hundreds of people that there is a God who thinks each of them is worth dying for? I'm hoping He will use the small things. If I am faithful in the little things, like how I live my daily life in front of these people, then He will use it to do big things. 


On the flip side, I have come to know other people so much better and I have been encouraged by them. I was a part of the West Virginia State Water Festival this week and while it wasn't perfect or the funnest thing I've ever done I'm leaving with memories I'll never forget. I was able to spend a ridiculous amount of time with the crazy Ashley Brown and I don't think we'll ever be the same after this week! She's become one of my best friends and I want to apologize to her dad for making her spend wayyyy more time at my house this week than his. Hopefully he understands:) And we wouldn't have been able to make it through this week without the wonderful and amazing Kim Jordan. Even though we gave her a hard time we love her more than she knows! I'm also thankful for Mary Jane! Those two ladies could always put a smile on our faces no matter what we were doing and seriously...they're the best (they also have two daughters who are some of the most fun and beautiful girls I know!). I had to have an escort for the Queen's Ball and I'm not sure how but I happened to snag the BOSS himself, Matt Ellison, but I did. He's the man and I'm so thankful for him- not just for being my date but for the example he is to the guys around him. And no trip to Hinton would ever be complete without Jolysa. She laughs at me more than anyone and I love her for that: no one else understands me!


I could go on and on about people I'm gonna miss. I also saw Grace, which is always amazingly encouraging. I actually got to hang out with Tanner and Jordan a little bit which was kinda fun I guess- considering I couldn't figure out the hat game, Jordan almost squirted my contacts right out of my eyes with those stupid water guns, and Tanner was his normal mean self. I guess we can all still be friends though:)


God truly works in mysterious ways and I'm amazed by that. It was so fun swimming in my neighbor's pool...we'd both lived there for years but for some reason it was this week that we started going over there and having a blast swimming with those girls. I also went to a church I had never been to, and I really enjoyed it. I still hate the water slide but if a little boy is in tears and asks me at the top to go down with him I'll do it. One of my favorite people in Hinton is a 5 year old little girl named Nikki Jo...I've never seen either of her parents and she's usually covered in dirt but she's the one who danced with me at the street dance and I love her.


I'm just truly amazed at how sad I am to be leaving this place. I am excited, trust me. I miss my other home something awful. This summer has definitely been my favorite, and this small town has played a huge role in that. I am incredibly thankful for those people who have made that so and I am overwhelmed by how much they seem to be like family to me, more so than blood relatives most times. My God knows just what I need and I have no clue why He chooses to gives those things to me. It's just another reason why I'm falling more and more in love with Him...

MVC and the Dominican Republic

While I've been enjoying the beach down south for a couple of days I've had family and friends of Mountain View Chapel serving the Lord and the people of San Marcos in the Dominican Republic. Kris Janezic does a wonderful job of shooting lots of video and each day he makes a short video recapping what they've done. These videos have been so encouraging to me and they are also a great way to keep up with the team and know how to pray for them specifically. They were also able to Skype with their church family on Sunday morning; thank the Lord for technology! I want to encourage you to watch each video...the majority of them are under 5 min and I promise they will bring smiles to your faces! The children there are beautiful and you can see the joy radiating from them and also from the team members. They are returning home to Virginia tomorrow so I just watched the video of their last day there. It is so powerful and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with emotion. 


One of the things I learned about during my camp and was reminded about in this video is that all good things come to an end. My heart breaks tonight for the team members and for the people they touched in the Dominican...goodbyes are so sad. I know what it's like to have to leave people you love knowing you may never see them again. Being separated from people so close to your heart hurts, like no other hurt. Especially when you are forced to come back to a society full of selfish people who have all they want yet constantly complain. Air conditioning is nice but you would give it up to sit in the heat with those precious people. There are so many things that cause your heart to hurt after such an amazing adventure comes to an end. But what I've learned this summer is that we all must come down from our mountains. No matter how good they are and how exciting, there are experiences off the mountain that we need too. Also, leaving the mountains in our lives gives greater value to the mountain. The people and places of each of our mountains become precious when we must leave them. The most important thing though is this: don't forget the mountain. We must never forget what we saw the Lord do on our mountains. When our valleys get dark and dismal, we will need to look back and remember. 


Here is the last video, I'm hoping you'll take a few minutes to watch it. It will definitely be worth your time. I was amazed at the powerful act of simply serving the Dominicans by the team members. Tears were rolling as I sat and watched this, imagining the Lord Himself doing that very thing. 

Here's the churches website: www.mountainviewchapel.net. You can watch the rest of the videos there and also download podcasts from the church. It's located in Stanardsville, Virginia. 

7-23-2011: such a memorable day!

first of all...one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world turned the big 2-1 today! WOOHOO! HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the one and only, Jolysa Brown. It's crazy to look back and think how far we've come. 5 years ago I hardly knew you and today I'd tell you anything. You've taught me to never want to be anyone else...we are who we are. No one in the entire world will ever mimic the crazy adventures we've had, do the things we've done, or come close to saying the ridiculous things that have come out of our mouths (ex. "every kitty needs compassion, a human that's never failing. let my hands rub your fur..."). You've also taught me to value friendship. True, real friends are hard to come by and oh how they affect our lives. I consistently thank the Lord for you and our friendship. I know we're not perfect (maybe I should repeat that, I know we're not perfect) but I love that the Lord can work in our hearts about the same things. So here's to being more positive. to tolerating people. and to complementing others when all we want to say is what's really on our minds.

[and not only is this her birthDAY, but her birth month. I'll never forget July 12, 2011...her other birthday. even the angels were celebrating that day! cupcakes and balloons for that next year most definitely. so proud of you!]

some random pictures of our best, and not so best, moments together.

Also, today a good friend finally married the love of his life and I was honored to be there to celebrate this wonderful occasion.

The circumstances that have brought these two people together were not ideal, but in the end God shows Himself faithful and brings two lives together to become one. In the closing of the ceremony, Pastor Dale Elwell said a simple phrase that I haven't been able to get out of my head. He said that Rook and Cyndi's story is one that shows that "God's way still works." We surely wouldn't have written their story they way it turned out, but God wrote it and it's beautiful. 

I don't know about you, but I'm thankful God's way still works. I'm glad He never gives up on His children. I'm so grateful that He cares enough to line our heart's desires up with His heart then is faithful enough to give us those desires. I'm so thankful that He is powerful enough to write our stories. Because if I were left to write my own story, I probably would have never taken the time to become best friends with Jolysa and Rook probably would have never taken the time to wait long enough to fall in love with his beautiful bride, Cyndi. In my story, this day would have been just another day in the books. But with God and His amazing creativity and loving kindness, this is a day I will never forget.

our good, His glory.

I am positive that if I were to write of all that is on my mind and to tell you of the things that have happened since I went to camp 8 days ago it would take somewhere around 30 blog posts. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to write it all so I will condense as much as I can into 1 action and emotion packed post. Get excited!:)

First off- glory to God, glory to God, glory to God forever! What a great God I serve! I have seen Him in so many different ways this past week and not once have I regretted it or wished He was any different. I love Him and I am humbled to be able to have a small glimpse of who He is. You must understand that the things I write about are a direct influence of His Spirit. We do nothing on our own.

Camp this year was something I will never forget. We got excited about the day we were born again, whether it was just the day before or 15 years ago. It's a story that we should never stop telling! God is powerful and mighty to save, that never gets old. He saved old kids and young kids this past week. They accepted His gift during morning worship and during evening service, in their cars and in the cabins. I've never seen anything like it. I heard one of my best friends tell the story of how she felt the Spirit for the first time. I heard another friend stand up and passionately talk about the Lord and what He's done in his life- something I'd been praying for him to do. I saw the desire to win competitions and to be the best just melt away in comparison to the joy and excitement we felt about spiritual things. There were moments when all we wanted to do was shout to the Heavens...at times it felt like that was the only thing we could do. It was so hard to even respond to how He chose to work among us. We were so humbled yet so empowered at the same time. For the first time, I truly understood what it meant to say, "I'll become even more undignified than this, some may say it's foolishness. I'll become even more undignified than this, leave my pride by my side." Tell me there is no God and I will tell you about July 10-16, 2011 and what He did at a little West Virginia camp by the river.

Specifically over the last day or two I've been learning how God works in our lives. I've learned the importance of picking up the phone and calling, yes calling, no- not texting, but calling someone and talking to them. Whether it's about something you're going through or something you know they are going through. Text messages, facebook messages, and emails do not always suffice. God made us to help and love each other and we can't do this life alone. Many times we go through a situation to help someone else get through the same situation in their lives. We don't always see immediate reasons for why we have to deal with what we do but if we trust God long enough we almost always see why. He never fails to work things out for our good and His glory. So tonight I am laying a lot at the feet of the only One who cares enough to take it all upon Himself and exchange it for peace that passes understanding. A missed opportunity, frustrating people, fears and failures, goodbyes, a bad attitude, unknown futures, selfish ideas, a heavy heart...those are just at the beginning of the pile. Would you like to join me? Because I'm already feeling better. His yoke truly is easy and His burden is light. Never have I known Someone so faithful. My problems are starting to grow dim in the light of His goodness.

I've listened to this song a hundred times today. "Can You hold me together? Because without You holding my heart I'm falling apart."

But after talking to some close friends, remembering all God has done in my life recently, and getting alone with Him, I'm going to bed singing this song...

better than Hana

I packed up again and hit the road this morning...this time to the Wild and Wonderful! A lot of people in Hawaii couldn't understand what was so important to me that I would leave a week early and miss out on Hana (apparently it's one of the top 10 beaches in the world). For some of you it might not make much sense either. But that's OK, I don't expect all of you to understand and if I've learned one thing from having divorced parents it's that you can't please everyone. So in leaving beautiful Maui (did you read in previous posts how hard it was for me?!) I would like to point out how important this camp I came home for is to me. I was thinking today of how it's kind of a reference sheet for the other 51 weeks of my life. When I'm in a situation and don't know what to do, I think of what the people at camp would do. When I make a life changing decision I think of how it will affect the people at camp. When I plan my summer, I plan it around camp. It's not a perfect place and it's full of imperfect people. The things we do aren't that special, i'm sure there are other Christian camps that do the same things...split up onto teams, have afternoons full of activities and sports, campfires, church services. The one thing that I love about camp though is that God is always there. He is always everywhere, actually, but sometimes He is pushed away by things of this world or He is overshadowed by people. At camp we have the opportunity to lift Him up and glorify Him in everything we do. It's just a special place, we say that all the time. It's the people and the traditions. The place and the time of year. The laughter and the tears. It's all stuff we'll never forget. 

So here's to another year of Greenbrier Baptist Youth Camp. New captains and new children of the King. New relationships and new testimonies. And a whole week of lifting up the only One who is worthy with some of my favorite people.

[I bought the Passion: Here for You CD on iTunes and it's amazing! I wanna post all of the songs on here. Instead, look em up on youtube or iTunes. Forever Reign, Always, and Sometimes are some of my favorites! When I listen to them Maui is always on my mind]

Pray for...

Kaia

Her dad is in jail and her mom is a drug addict. 

Amanda

She's going through some hard times and we missed her at camp. The CYMOH team cares for her A LOT and we see all the potential she has. Pray that she can see God for who He is amidst the bad Christian examples she's seen. Pray that she can understand that He will always fight for her if she will let Him.

Elijah

His parents are divorced and he really misses his dad.

Mabel

She married the man who founded the Christian school where we stayed. She's spending 2 weeks in China prayer walking and talking to the people she meets about Jesus. What a precious lady and a godly example!

Pastor Roland and Haiku Bible Church

They have a great ministry but they are lacking in numbers. The people at this church are passionate about Christ but pray that these seats will begin to be filled every Sunday with more and more people on fire for Him.

These are just a few requests that have been on my heart lately. These people and places have become so dear to me and I cannot even picture my life without them. 

"Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the message..." Colossians 4:2&3

Psalm 30

I made it back safe and sound to the mainland! [Just a side note: the trip back really is as awful as they say.] The girls, mom, and Grandmother met me at the airport when I got off the plane and I was so excited just to hug them and talk to them all in person. 


The previous night was a rough one. I'm glad Maggie and I got to spend our last day with the team and we all were able to go out to dinner and enjoy our last hours together. Dayne, Ben, Maggie and I prayed on that beach one last time. After doing so Maggie looked at us and said, "Do you ever feel high on Jesus?" We all kinda laughed but then admitted we did. The people around us at the public beach were high on other things but we were high on the all-powerful God...and honestly we were acting way crazier. Maggie and I wanted to get everything out before we had to leave it all behind so we stepped out onto the shore, raised our hands to the Creator, and yelled as loud as we could. Then we didn't want to stop yelling; it was so freeing. It was our way of saying, "Hey God, this is for You. Can You hear us?" As the four of us walked back to the school for the last time, we decided to sing praise songs through the streets. There were people all around us, it was July 4th and people were setting off fireworks and just hanging out in their yards. We sang loud, whatever songs came to mind. Some we could just remember the chorus, some we sang over and over. People noticed, some commented. We loved that though, we didn't mind people staring and listening. We were high on Jesus- what He's done for us and what He's gonna do on Maui. And we wanted everyone to know it!


When we got back our stuff was in the car within 10 minutes. It hit me hard when it was time for goodbyes and I struggled to hug everyone without crying. The trip to the airport was fairly quiet and I was thankful Maggie was leaving too, it would have been too hard to say goodbye to everyone alone. Having to say goodbye to the Bonheim's just made the tears keep rolling and I was a mess trying to check into the airline. Going through agriculture and security took awhile, they weren't very happy that we were taking home sand from their beaches, but Maggie and I had to say goodbye and I sat at my gate among tourists and families on vacation. As my plane left Maui, I was glad the cabin lights were dim because I was crying, really crying. I wasn't sure why I was so sad...because I was afraid I would never go back? because I just left some of the people who buried themselves deep within my heart? because I was afraid I would forget all the things we did while we were there? because I was afraid I would quickly lose the passion God has put inside of me to see the people of Maui cry out to their Creator? Whatever the reason, my heart was sad, my nose was running, and my eyes were red and puffy. Once we made it up in the sky though I looked out my window and I was eye level with the Big Dipper. I was in the midst of the stars we looked at every night! They seemed so close, yet still just as far away as when I saw them from the ground. Then a couple of hours later there seemed to be light, and I could see the sun coming up over the Pacific Ocean. As soon as I could see the sun my soul felt so much peace. I couldn't help but think of Psalm 30 where is says that: "...weeping may spend the night but there is joy in the morning." That verse had never felt so real. I left Maui a crying mess, sad of what I was leaving behind. But with the light of the morning I had complete joy, joy of what would come in the future. I began to jot down ideas and thoughts of how to catch the Gospel on fire on the island of Maui. When I landed in Phoenix I had a text from one of the team members reminding me to never forget the prayers we prayed, the dreams he shared, and the hopes we have of returning to Maui and changing it. I encouraged him to never stop believing that God will do big things on that island. 

Remember one of my first blog posts entitled "Expectations"? I was thinking about how I didn't really have any instances that seemed impossible for man but God showed up and pulled through. Most of the things we did required little faith. This is a ministry that has been in place for many years and the number of campers and other factors were pretty predictable. I think the impossible that God is wanting to do through me is on a much larger scale. I don't know exactly what it is or where it will take place but He's still working on me! 


Continue to pray for the people of Maui. When I start posting some pictures of the campers I'll give specific prayer requests but for now call out to our God and beg Him to open doors for the people to fall at His feet. 

All packed up and ready to go

As I sit here and wait for the inevitable to happen, I can't help but think back over the last four weeks. I have EVERYTHING packed in two luggage bags and my backpack...I'm very proud of that! Even though all of my clothes and souvenirs and plastic lei and camera and journal, etc are all stuffed into the three bags sitting on the floor, the memories are flooding the room I'm in...not meant to be fit into something and stored away. I'm glad I have the time to sit here, still on Maui, and think back over all the things I did while I was here. I still don't know exactly why God brought me here. We accomplished many tasks and got done everything we came to do but I cannot pinpoint a moment, feeling, or event that made me stop and say, "God called me here for this." I do know that He planned for me to be here before I was born though and I have learned SO MANY lessons since I came here. I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity and I am leaving a better person. God also has shown me many of my weaknesses and I am thankful that I can see them so clearly now and have the chance to work on them. I am leaving with a bigger view of my beautiful God, friends who have such a passion for Him, and a heart on fire for Maui. I will never forget how all of those things came together on an island in the Pacific in the summer of 2011. 


I fly out of Maui tonight July 4th, 10:30pm our time and hopefully land in Lynchburg July 5th, 5:30pm east coast time. It's going to be a very long 18 hours and I am sad that I'm missing fireworks, both on Maui and back home. The trip will be worth it though when I see my precious Mama and sleep in my own bed tonight. One thing that leaving is teaching me is that I will come back. Out of all the other missions trips I've gone on (to Jamaica, Costa Rica, Honduras, and Guatemala) I've never been back to the same place twice. I loved each of those trips!! This place is different though. I don't know what it is and I don't know how to explain it. But even though my body is flying home tonight...a part of me is staying here. And one day, I don't when, I'll have to come back and get it. 


"Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You. I will praise Your name, for You have accomplished wonders, plans formed long ago with perfect faithfulness." Isaiah 25:1


[Camp ended on a good note and when I get home I'll post pictures and a couple stories of some of the campers who touched my heart.]

CAMP

I wish I had the time to post all of the pictures I've taken over that last week or so. The kids are beautiful, the games are fun, the people are funny, nature is amazing. Unfortanately I won't have time to do that until I am home. Fortunately I will be home in 4 days.

This was my first ever time being a camp counselor. I go to camp every year but I'm still a camper (and will be for 4 more years!). The kids were going into grades 2 through 6 and we had a little under 40 kids. We split up into two teams, the Tomohawks and Lancers (T's were camp winners). We also split up into 'cabins' even though we are sleeping in our own tents. Courtney and I had the older girls which turned out to be a group of six. Bethany and Maggie took care of the two younger groups. Dayne had the oldest boys, then Ben had the middle group, and Kyle and Jonathan had the youngest boys. It was a learning experience for us all. We woke up at 7am and went to bed at 10pm, which seemed very late for the young campers. Between wake up and bed time we did things like raise and lower the American flag, hear a fabulous story about a missionary named Bruce Olson, play ships and sailors, do crazy skits, sing funny songs, do quite a few push ups, and memorize Bible verses. It was a very full 4 days and in the end it was difficult to know whether kids had been saved for the first time and which ones rededicated their lives. I learned that with kids so young they hardly say the same thing twice and they're never quite sure which time they're telling the truth. It can be very frustrating at times but that is when we just leave it up to One who knows all. Another lesson I learned was how we are to be like young children. I got my face painted for the first time in forever and we slid down this big slip n slide. How fun to be a kid again!

Junior high retreat started yesterday and I realized how I get along so much better with the older kids...they already have become so precious to me and I've hardly known them 24 hours. I love hearing their stories and how they've come to know Christ. It's dinner time and the whistle is about to blow so I must go. Keep praying for the campers and I will write more upon my arrival to the mainland.

ALOHA!

Whirlwind

Today was a whirlwind. We quickly became a team of about 10 to a team of 17 almost overnight. Our role instantly changed from the group of students doing volunteer work at the Christian school to counselors at Maui Christian Youth Camp. We've been told that next week we're gonna be so tired and we will have -3 hours to ourselves once camp starts. I've come to love seeing the teachers and students at school and now I might never see them again. Since I'm flying out next Monday, the day our second camp ends, I am packing tonight...most of my stuff for good. Wow, times flies (Colossians 4:5 has become so real).

because we work hard, we PLAY hard. 

(my heart already hurts to think of how much i will miss this...)

Tonight our team had the privilege of going to Craig and Valerie Lewis's home on the ocean for dinner. After taking hundreds of pictures combined on about 7 cameras we settled in for some grilled hamburgers then apple pie with ice cream. YUM! [Big thanks to them and their willingness to serve us! What a blessing it was!] Ben eventually found the piano and most of us settled in for some worship songs. Have you ever had a moment you wanted to last forever? In the whirlwind of this day just sitting there and being was enough to make me want to never leave the moment. Just the people you're with, the things you're doing, the way you feel, the truth you've come to know...all that combined became a moment I don't ever want to forget. I loved where we were. I loved that we were singing praises to Him as our response to the way He loves us. I loved the people I was with in that room. I just wanted it to last longer. 

At the same time though, I was so excited for the future. Some of us were talking tonight about how 'the best things in life are unexpected.' The first day we went running we didn't expect it to grow us closer to each other, or to make friends with the people we pass each morning, or to see God work out the prayers throughout the day that we had prayed that morning. When we all sat in the lounge a couple nights ago we didn't plan for everyone to share how Christ is working through them. When Monica mentioned in class that she wanted students to go to Hawaii with her I didn't expect to actually be here. When Maggie stayed with me at Liberty for CFAW last fall we never expected we would need to lean on each other half way across the world. So all this to say: I'm so excited for the unexpectedness of my future. I love the things that are not planned. That's probably the case because after the fact I realize that He had it planned all along. He always has things planned for my good and His glory, and that amazes me. What a loving and faithful God. 

So as camp approaches I am excited for all of the things that are not on the schedule...my quiet time, the talks I have with my girls, the prayers I pray with my team members and the way God answers them. Then even as I leave this island I am still excited for what I have not planned, those things He has so carefully sculpted before time even began...

our weakness = His power

"So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into "the Holy Place." Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of His sacrifice, acting as our Priest before God. The "curtain" into God's presence is His body. So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps His Word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do, but spurring each other on..." Hebrews 10:19-25 (The Message)

After being together for almost 2 full weeks, our team of 7 sat around last night and many shared their testimonies for the first time. I sat and listened for the most part, taking it all in. I love hearing their stories and how God has woven Himself into each of them. We're all so different- some in high school, some in college. Our accents, where we grew up, what our parents are like, what we enjoy doing, what we look like...it's just all so different. And none of us are perfect; we are very far from it. We all still struggle with things. Paul didn't write about the armor of God in Ephesians 6 because this Christian life is easy. It's a battle! We've said that so many times over the last few days. To follow and listen to our flesh is so easy, especially when those around us are doing the wrong things. But here, among each other, we're stronger. We're able to talk about our scars without being judged. We can lay our hearts on the table and not have to worry about people breaking or stepping on it. Together we are powerful. Many of us become different people in a way. We come face to face with the reality that we actually can be the people we want to be.
Today has been such a fun day! Dayne, Ben, Maggie and I started it early by waking up at 6am and running to the beach. Once we got there we kinda spread out and did our own thing. We sat there: some praying, some doing devotions, some singing. Just sitting there in the presence of the Almighty as the sun rose...there's nothing like it. Then before we left we all took turns praying, glorifying the Holy One and thanking Him for each other and for this opportunity we have to change lives for Him. After running back we had our theology lesson, breakfast, then started the work day up at Haiku. Yesterday was our first work day there and it was DISGUSTING. I made a comment to Maggie saying that I fully understand why God does not dwell in church buildings, they can be so gross! [But can't our hearts sometimes be that way too?? He keeps teaching us the biggest lessons in the smallest things!] After getting rid of our bad attitudes about how utterly disgusting the place was we did some serious work and we have heard Mrs. B say multiple times that she has never seen the church that clean. It's amazing what God will do when you let Him! We were able to go to the beach today while the sun was still out and it was a blast! Then we had our first meeting about camp, assigning jobs and discussing what next week will look like. Everyone is so excited for camp to start and to be able to spend time with the kids!
I don't think I enjoyed today just because of the things we accomplished or talked about though. I think I enjoyed it most because I felt like everyone was so transparent. Wasn't it in 2 Corinthians that Paul talks about his weaknesses? Jesus told him that His power is perfected in weakness. Jesus didn't come to save the righteous or the perfect people. He came to the dirty, weak, and sinful; those are the ones who need a Savior. When we share our weakness with each other, we show Christ's power. So today, when I looked at each of the team member's faces, I saw a little bit more of His strength and His power. And what a beautiful thing that is!


Here's a great song that that explains how others can see Christ in our weaknesses. The lyrics are so powerful...